self esteem boosters

Anonymous asked: Odd problem. I've never done illegal drugs...but I pretended I did (on Facebook) because I was trying to fit in. Pathetic, I know. I deleted the account because it had jokes about being high and such but I'm terrified a future employer could still find it...I know it was stupid & wrong to lie but I really haven't done anything illegal, but now I can't prove it if someone finds that page somehow.

Yeah, I mean, you can’t permanently delete anything from the internet, but delete what you can and then leave it alone. As time goes by, it’ll get buried. If employers are searching out your facebook (and I still find that totally weird considering I had to make my boss a facebook because she had no idea how to and we’re FB friends) they probably won’t even think a 5 year old account is you. And even if so, they probably won’t care what you “did” in high school when you’re in college or have graduated from college. Also, it’s hard to resurrect dead pages. Even if they find a link, it’ll come up as a deleted account. If someone is working that hard to search your history, you probably don’t want to work for them anyway.

Anonymous asked: I just finished my junior year working towards a biology degree. I can graduate spring 2013. But I don't know what I want to do afterwards. Working in a lab might be fun. I heard about a program at my uni where I can get a bachelors and masters in biotech but I don't know if I have the motivation. Really, what I would LOVE to do is have a store that sells cute things but I don't know if that's realistic at all. I just feel like I dont have the passion for science anymore. Do you have any advice?

This happens all the time. 75% of college grads don’t go into the field they majored in. I’d way rather run a bakery than be a therapist. The most important thing you’ll learn in life is to do what you love, not what you think you’re supposed to do. You’re still young. Tons of people start a career, then realize they don’t like it, start a new one, and do that for the rest of their lives. You just can’t worry about ‘wasted time.’ Do what you want every day.

Anonymous asked: I can't afford new (or even used) clothes for job interviews. I've finally gotten my health straightened out so I can work but now I've hit another wall with money. I have clothes that I only wear for going out (jeans, tops) but I feel that, it would just lower my chances even farther than my lack of work experience. On the other hand I want to just wing it & put myself out there regardless. What should I do?

There’s a great company called, ‘Dress for Success’ which gives you interview clothes that others have donated. Find a location near you! If all else fails, ask your friends/family members if you can borrow a nice pair of slacks and a blouse for the day.

Anonymous asked: I want to volunteer somewhere but I don't know if I should because I don't know what to say to people a majority of the time. I get nervous because I don't know if they're waiting for me to say something or what and then I do something stupid like tripping over my feet or doing the opposite of what someone tells me because I'm freaked out inside. I don't want this to hold me back. Help??

You can be nervous. It’s okay. If you volunteer or work for money or go to school, you’ll be with people where you might trip and fall or say something weird or make a mistake. You’re supposed to make mistakes! You’re volunteering for god’s sake! You do what you can, you get taught the rest. There’s a learning curve. It’s okay. You’ll never grow if you can’t accept the fact that you’ll fail or make mistakes at first. And if you don’t do it at all, you fail by default because you quit playing entirely.

Anonymous asked: So after being insulted at work again (this time, my competency was put into question), I'm thinking of quitting. A coworker gave me a few words of comfort, but it's been days and I still feel horrible. I'm a very anxious person and if I'm struggling to work at a fast food place, how could I handle working elsewhere?

You can’t let anyone else determine your fate! So what is someone talked shit to you? I’ve been told directly to my face that I’m a stupid blond, but that didn’t stop me from getting a college degree (I refused to let my anxiety stop that either). Take the good words and let them lift you up, but ultimately you decide who you are and what you’re worth (hint: you’re worth everything and deserve every single thing you want out of life).

Anonymous asked: Any tips for getting on a schedule? I can't work due to a health issue & I'm self taught in my career field so I've been stuck in one place for a while. My life has been overcome with procrastination & even laziness at some points. I want to get back onto some kind of routine that I can fill my days up again somehow til I get my life figured out. I've taken to sleeping during most of the day til late afternoon as my 'days' go by faster at night. :\ Any ideas?

Make a literal schedule with small and big goals. My dry erase calender has saved my life for everything from working out, to college projects, to life goals. Get one or an organizer and fill it up. Fix your sleep schedule - in bed by 11 and up by 8am - and then once you’re up, do something. Make a big breakfast and go for a walk. When you get back, do whatever you need to for your career field, whether that means working on something, or looking for a job. Then lunch, then grocery shopping, then more work, whatever it is. Even people who work or do school from home need to treat it like a job. Even if you write, you have to treat it like a job. John Green gets up and writes from 8am till noon, then works on vlogbrothers projects in the afternoon. Just because you aren’t in an office or classroom doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be filling your day with learning or work.

Anonymous asked: Is it possible to have a 'finger in all the pies' (I think I'm using the wrong thing here but hopefully you get it!) so to speak? Like, I'm an artist & photographer primarily but I want to design clothes & jewelry, some graphic & interior design, be a blogger & a journalist & a musician. Do people have several jobs going almost all at once? I just want to do them because I enjoy them & I don't want to miss out on doing something just because I can. Go for it or no?

Yeah of course. There are novelists who vlog and run charity events and famous band members who write graphic novels and people who work 9-5s then paint all night. You always go for what you want. Just don’t overwhelm yourself trying to do every single thing at one time. You have your entire life ahead of you.

Anonymous asked: I want to live in a city like NYC or Philadelphia as they have the things that I need (large art districts, close to family & friends, & in the northeast) but it's so expensive! I need to get an internship with an artist or photographer but I'd have to be working at least three jobs just to live in a relatively safe place roommate or not. How do people do it?

That’s what people do. They live with a roommate and work a bunch of jobs. Everywhere you live is going to be expensive. Through your 20s, you work a ton and don’t have a lot of time off and live in a crappy apartment and eat crappy food. Search for jobs first. Get a waitressing or bartending job for cash and see if you can get a paid internship. They do have them. Mostly though, don’t expect to be living the life. You’re going to have to bust your ass and sacrifice for you want, and if you’re doing what you want, then it won’t matter so much that you’re working your butt off.

Anonymous asked: To get something done most of the time I have to become literally obsessed with it. I procrastinate so much I just have to force myself to do something till I'm obsessed with it. Even if I crash later, I keep doing it. Is that normal?

I’m a horrendous procrastinator. It is normal. You just have to learn to prioritize and schedule yourself and be a little tough on yourself. Find what’s most important for school/life/work and find a time for it. Big essay due next week? Look at your calender. Hey, look, Tuesday is free. No shows you like to watch. No plans. And then if someone asks for plans, sorry, busy! You absolutely have to stick to that time. Write it down. Do the work from 6-8 and actually buckle down, turn off the TV and no internet until you’re done. It’s just hard work and discipline.

Anonymous asked: I went into college directly after high school. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do for a living, but my parents wanted me to go to college ASAP. The program I chose was incredibly interesting. I made a lot of friends and experienced good things. Unfortunately, the career wasn't for me and its embarrassing when people ask "why aren't you working at a _____ then?" I can’t help but feel that, besides the good times & people, that I wasted my time and money.

So many people are in this position, including me. I’m not working in the psych field because none of it is appealing to me but this. I love this. Blogging is not what I went to college for, sadly. Who gives a shit what they think? People ask me all the time and it hurts a little, but it isn’t their business. College is a learning experience, even if you don’t get a career in your major (75% of college grads don’t go onto a career in their major). You can get into most grad schools regardless of what your major was as long as you have a bachelors, even if you have to take a few extra courses. You’re young. It’s your life. You just learned that sometimes life doesn’t follow the plan you made. That’s important. Embrace it. Now you’ll do what you really love, and that’s freeing.