Showing posts tagged personal

If I should have a son…

I will never use the phrase, ‘boys will be boys.’ I won’t explain away violence and bullying with a tired cliche. I will tell him that hair pulling, pushing, and teasing are not appropriate expressions of attraction. I’ll never let him think that being in possession of a penis makes him greater than anyone else. Power, possession, and control will not be sexy and will not be birthright. I’ll put in the effort and work to raise a son who will shake his head when another grayfaced man tells women that the way they dress or act is the reason they are raped. And maybe, my son will be insulted when it is insinuated that women are not safe because men are animals who cannot control themselves when a female in a short skirt walks by.

Maybe, just maybe, we can raise a generation of better men, and just maybe, we will never have to watch another man stand on a soapbox and preach at women to dress a certain way, stay with friends, carry mace, and triple lock their doors at night if they do not wish to be raped or abused by the more powerful but forgivable gender.

The news reports for Hurricane Sandy keep saying, ‘the oncoming storm,’ and I’m like


but then I realize that is not what they mean.

I’ve been watching 13 nights of halloween

Because I am a grown-up and I like my halloween movies full of commercials and family friendly.

But I’m going to scream if I see one more goddamn movie advertised as ‘BOY JUST WANTS GIRL, ALSO SOMETHING SCARY/SUPERNATURAL IS GOING ON MAYBE. LOOK HE’S GOT POWERS! BUT HE WANTS TO DATE THAT HOT GIRL!”

Like that sorcerer’s apprentice movie. I don’t know, I haven’t seen it because nic cage freaks me out but I assume it isn’t solely about a dude with powers who MUST bang that blond chick.

Also, Monster House. They both want this girl, “they must impress her by defeating this house!”

How about, “this movie is about a motherfucking monster house that EATS people for breakfast - literally - and these little bastards are about to be the next snack. These two boys and a girl take down a motherfucking PEOPLE-EATING house with pure bravery and the power of FRIENDSHIP and don’t forget to be nice to crotchety old people because maybe they just love someone who got built into the foundation of a house.”

PEOPLE EATING HOUSE, you guys. Defeated by three average kids. THIS IS NOT ABOUT TWO BOYS FIGHTING OVER AN OBJECT GIRL, SO STOP TELLING YOUR KIDS THAT’S ALL LIFE IS ABOUT.

I haven’t died or anything

Though it probably seems like it because I fell off the face of the planet. So what happened? For one, I moved into a new apartment and didn’t have internet for a while. Without the stress of advice giving or a dash full of fit women/health news/fitness advice, I could breathe again. Never bought a full length mirror for the apartment. Learned to match my clothing by looking down at myself. Stopped focusing on my body so much. Took more time to see friends. Realized I’d been updating my blog/answering questions while hanging out with friends which was super rude. Still didn’t get internet. Watched lots of TV. Saw an episode of Doctor Who. Got hooked. Bought looks of Doctor Who swag.

Took lots of hot yoga. Learned to meditate. Shook off the stress. Made some bad choices that brought the stress back. Decided I couldn’t give advice if I couldn’t figure myself out. Did more yoga. Read more books.

Still didn’t buy a full length mirror. Realized I was still letting my looks define me. Met a boy who told me not to cut my hair because it made me pretty. Made an appointment the next day, chopped off twelve inches and donated it.

Starting talking to anyone who would listen about feminism, self esteem, and how difficult it is to love yourself in this society. Drove everyone crazy. Found myself sitting alone in my apartment yelling at a commercial for weight loss. Realized that I missed having a place to talk about this where a few people listen and agree. Realized I sucked for disappearing all of a sudden. Missed everybody. Got my internet running. Came back.

Will I still be answering questions? Yes! Probably a little less frequently though, because I intend to not ignore people I’m with in real life to answer from my phone, or be up at three a.m. worrying that someone will be angry that I didn’t answer their question.

Am I sorry? Yes! I feel really terrible about just ditching. I consider myself fairly reliable and this was just a smack in the face of like, no you’re really selfish, but sometimes youneedto be because you’re about to ring someone’s neck you’re so stressed and you’ve lost yourself and you don’t know who you are in your new apartment all alone and that is okie dokie, as long as you accept it.

I’ve missed you all! And I’m very, very happy to be back.

5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women.(Sometimes Cracked is dead on.)

Sometimes being from Massachusetts is fabulous.

Sometimes being from Massachusetts is fabulous.

Bleeding Heart Cup-Pakes

Bleeding Heart Cup-Pakes

This week, I made Pake. Yeah, like piecaken, but with a cooler name because it doesn’t make me think of turducken. After watching Drop Dead Diva (hey, it’s a guilty pleasure) in which Stacy accidentally bakes a pie and cake in one, I was all, ‘I must make that!’ I was also all, ‘why is Kim Kardashian on this show?’
After going to the gym, I felt like it would be totally rational to now bake a pie inside of a cake and eat it all alone. Sadly, I quickly realized two things. One: I suck at making pie. Two: I suck at making cake. I am, however, kickass at making cupcakes. So I used my favorite chocolate cupcake recipe ever, bought a cherry pie, and attacked it with an ice cream scoop. Essentially, I make cupcakes with a ball of pie (crust and all) on the inside. I had a feeling this might be horrendous because the piecaken gets many negative reviews, but sometimes, you’ve just got to live life. A carby, sugary, pie-in-cake kind of life.
And guess what? It was awesome. Of course, I dropped one immediately after pulling it out of the oven and yelled many versions of, ‘damn you piecaken gods!’ and ‘Stacy makes it look easy!’ and, ‘Kim Kardashian is ruining everything!’
I had to go after it with what we call here, ‘The Old Lady Arm.’ It’s one of those claw things that old ladies use, and was originally called The Old Lady Grabber Thing For The Sadly Disabled, but The Old Lady Arm was easier and people freak out when they hear me say it, as if I secretly have an old lady’s arm stashed away that I use to conviently grab things.
Anyway, I found The Old Lady Arm and grabbed the cupcake from where it had slid beneath the counter. Luckily, It landed wrapper side down and the top didn’t hit the counter, but it kind of collapsed in on itself, smooshing the inside. This naturally meant that it was to be devoured immediately, in case I decided to give this platter to someone else.
The cherry filling spilled out all warm into the dark chocolate cake, making it a bit like a black forest cupcake, only, you know, with pie crust and stuff inside. It was shockingly awesome. I brought them to work and pawned them off on others to see if maybe my tastebuds were wonky. The way the plate was cleared says no, but when I told people there was a scoop of pie inside, they were suddenly wary, despite the fact that they’re just mowed three down in a row.
My advice? Stop being so scared just because something sounds weird! It’s cake and pie, not cow’s tongue. How bad could it get?

There is no set recipe. Just pick your favorite cupcake recipe (or boxed cake recipe while I silently judge you), buy or make a pie (while I am silently awed by you) and get to work. Cover he bottom of the cupcake wrapper with cake mix, then a scoop of pie, then cover it up with cake batter (not too much or it’ll overflow when it rises). Bake for 18-20 minutes, testing with a toothpick on the side (not into the perpetually wet pie). Enjoy without fear!

There’s No Reason Not to Be a Vegetarian - from my personal blog

If you’ve been on the fence about becoming a vegetarian and need the extra shove, here it is.
Vegetarianism is better for you (soy products have few calories, less fat, and less cholesterol than meat), the environment (90% of soy, 80% of corn, and 50% of our water goes to animals which will be turned into food), and the animals (cause, you know, they don’t get slaughtered which is nice).

“But vegetarianism is about sacrifice! It’s hard! I love bacon!” It’s not as difficult as you think. With vegetarianism becoming increasingly popular, there are thousands of substitute products out there for every meat.

“But the protein-!” If you say vegetarians don’t get enough protein, Shaun T will beat you over the head with a bag of quinoa.
Now that my fast-stats and charm have won you over, here are some basic, filling vegetarian recipes:

Breakfast Scramble: 

  •  Ingredients:
  •  1 whole egg and 3 egg whites
  • 1 small red onion chopped
  • 1/4 cup tomatoes chopped
  • 1 clove garlic chopped
  • 1 handful spinach rinsed, torn, and chopped
  • 1 cup Morningstar Farm Crumbles
  • 2 T olive oil
  • Directions:
  1.  Coat a nonstick pan with the olive oil
  2. Cook Crumbles over a medium heat for 1-2 minutes.
  3. Chop all your ingredients except for the eggs and add them into the pan. Cook over a medium heat until onions start to brown. Add salt and pepper to taste.
  4. In the meantime, whisk your egg/egg whites until fluffy. Add a splash of milk and continue to beat. Salt and pepper.
  5. With the veggies and Crumbles still in the pan, turn the heat to medium-low and pour your eggs in. Do not leave your pan! With a rubber spatula, continuously stir the eggs to avoid sticking to the bottom. If the eggs get brown, they’ve burned.
  6. When everything is sufficiently incorporated and the eggs solidify, plate and eat up!
Quinoa Lunch Salad (adapted from Annie’s Eats)
  • Ingredients:
  • 1/2 cup quinoa
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 cup chopped watermelon
  • Sprinkle of feta cheese
  • Handful of crushed basil
  • Directions:
  1. Rinse quinoa first to remove the bitter coating.
  2. Boil salted water and quinoa, then lower heat and cook for additional 12-15 minutes or until quinoa absorbs all the water.
  3. While the quinoa cooks, chop watermelon.
  4. Put the cooled quinoa in a bowl and toss with watermelon. Top with feta. Sprinkle basil on top.
  5. Enjoy!
Quinoa Patties - Makes 12 (Adapted from Epicurious)
  • 2 1/2 cups cooked quinoa, at room temperature
  • 4 large eggs, beaten
  • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/3 cup chopped fresh chives
  • 1 yellow or white onion, chopped
  • 1/3 cup Parmesan or goat cheese
  • 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
  • 1 cup whole grain bread crumbs, plus more if needed
  • 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
  • Directions
  1. Combine the quinoa, eggs, and salt in a medium bowl.
  2. Stir in the chives, onion, cheese, and garlic.
  3. Add the bread crumbs, stir, and let sit for a few minutes so the crumbs can absorb some of the moisture. 
  4. Form 12 1-inch thick patties
  5. Heat the oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium-low heat, add patties
  6. Cook until brown on one side and golden on the other
If you’re still not convinced, here’s Hank Green to do some explaining.

I haven’t taken a lot of progress pictures during Body For Life, mostly because I’m irresponsible. I don’t watch the scale or take a lot of photos, focusing instead on the weight I can move. In ten weeks, I’ve gone from squatting 95 pounds to 135. I feel better than I have in a long time, I eat a shit ton, I don’t count calories, and life is damn good.