self esteem boosters

Anonymous asked: This may seem unusual. I am lesbian, but I've never been able to say those words out loud to myself or to other people. So when I do come out, I do it indirectly without saying the words. Whenever I try to say that I'm gay, I get embarrassed and end up in a laughing/giggling fit. I don't even know why I laugh, it just happens. How can I say it? I haven't been able to ever since I knew over a year and a half ago. Thanks in advance.

It’s okay to be nervous. Some people are probably feel weird saying, ‘I’m straight.’ Asserting your sexuality blankly is kind of awkward. Practice saying it to the mirror. Say it in your car. Whisper it in a crowded room. Yell it when you’re driving down the highway with the windows down. The most important person you can say it to is yourself, then one day, your future partner.

Anonymous asked: My 16-year-old friend has been making bad decisions ever since she discovered her lesbianism. She "fell in love with" (had a really desperate crush on) a girl and, when the girl moved away, told me she liked to drink the pain away. Recently, she has been hooking up with her friend's 21-year-old girlfriend, who I think is a bad influence. I feel like she's been acting out because she thinks she needs to if she wants to be romantically involved with girls. How can I convince her otherwise?

Her ‘bad decisions’ aren’t related to her ‘discovered lesbianism’. Mostly because lesbianism isn’t discovered. You’re not like, ‘hey, I think I’ll be a lesbian.’ Your sexuality is innate. She could absolutely be hanging out with the wrong crowd, but until you drop the idea of her sexuality being the cause, you shouldn’t even bother speaking to her. Talk to her about her drinking, talk to her about how you think maybe these girls aren’t the best influence, but the second you accuse her lesbianism as the problem, you can count on her to shut down, rightfully, because you’re being a shitty friend.

Anonymous asked: i have finally sorted out my sexuality and im okay with it. i am bisexual. im a girl,17. i think i've known for a little while now but i finally confirmed it with myself because i started to develop feelings for a girl and i cant tell the girl i have feelings for cause she is my dance teacher and is 23 and she's straight. ANYWAY i know my family will be totally okay with it and will still love me, but im SO SCARED that i will be treated differently by everyone and i dont know how to handle that

If your family and friends love you, they won’t treat you differently. Would they treat you differently if it was a guy who was 23? If they want to talk to you about the age difference, that’s between you and them, but the gender should never matter. If they care about you, they won’t care about what’s between the legs of the person you have feelings for. Now, if you know your dance teacher is straight and certainly not bi, don’t try to convince yourself that you can change her. Just like you wouldn’t want people to change you, you shouldn’t either.

Anonymous asked: I'm 13 and I got so horny i started doing stuff on cam with another girl and I don't do stuff like that.. and i feel like crying I wish I never did it.. help.

You don’t need help because there’s nothing wrong with doing anything sexual with someone of the same sex (I’m assuming the gender is the issue here). Teens explore their sexuality and sometimes there’s guilt because unfortunately, sex tends to be shamed in society especially to females and definitely in regards to homosexuality. As long as you’re both consenting and not jumping into anything you aren’t ready for, there’s nothing wrong with experimenting, kissing, or marrying the same gender or opposite gender or whoever the hell you want.

Anonymous asked: My good friend knows that I'm a lesbian and I've told her to keep it to herself. But she publicly advertises my sexuality. She sometimes refers to me using offensive slurs, openly discusses about my sexuality/love interests when I've explicitly asked her not to. She is sometimes physically inappropriate - deliberately sitting with her legs open wide when I'm in front of her and getting on top of me whenever possible. She's straight and has a boyfriend. What do I do with her?

Straight or not, she’s just not a good friend. She might think she’s being funny, she might be a little uncomfortable with the situation, or she might even be questioning her sexuality. Regardless, what she’s doing isn’t okay. You need to bring it up with her. You don’t have to yell or flip out, just mention the next time she says something offensive that it sucks when she says it. You don’t have to make a hugely serious point at first. Just don’t laugh, frown, and be like, ‘not cool.’ If that doesn’t work, you need to have a sit down discussion.

Anonymous asked: Why can't I say that I think a woman is a 'goddess' (milla jovovich) because she is absolutely beautiful and people think I'm a lesbian?? I have ZERO sexual attraction to females but I appreciate beauty when I see it because of what it is, just beauty. Why must it be sexualized? Why must it be put into a category? It drives me nuts! I'm not a lesbian & I do not care if anyone else is but stop calling me one. How do I get people to understand this?

You can say that! I have lots of girl crushes even though I’m straight. The world puts people into categories because it’s easy, and that sucks. Just remember that you define yourself, not anyone else. Like Dianna Argon said, she LOVES women. I love women too. Women should love and respect other women for smarts, looks, personalities, everything. There’s nothing wrong with it. As you get older, people will stop throwing that at you, because they’ll start to realize that lesbian is not a dirty word.

Anonymous asked: So.. i think i might be in love with a girl. I don't really know what to do, she's one of my best friends and we spend loads of time together. I had a party just the other night and we got really drunk and she was upset and we kissed. She's straight, but we haven't said anything about it since. We've talked about everything but that, and it was more than once. She seems really guarded but she's fine with me just a bit guarded. I don't know what to do, i just wish i knew what she was thinking..

Talk to her. You don’t have to be like, ‘hey, I like you!’ but talk to her about sexuality. Let her know that you might like girls. Ask her how she feels about that. Everyone figures out their sexuality at different times. All you can do is discuss it to see how she’s feeling. Ask her if she’s upset/offended about the kiss and if it’s something you two should discuss.

Anonymous asked: I think I might be bi... I honestly don't know what to do. It could be just be a phase right?

I’m not understanding what’s wrong with being bi? It doesn’t matter who you love or kiss or sleep with. What matters is that you’re a good person and you’re true to yourself, following your passions for life, work, and love of others, regardless of their gender.

Anonymous asked: I'm 18, & when I was a kid I tried to tell my mom about a boy I liked. She teased me so much that I felt ashamed of my feelings, and I've never talked about boys with her since. Now I'm in college and finding that I'm rarely, if ever, attracted to boys and am terrified of intimacy. I don't know if I am struggling with my sexuality and may be graysexual or if I'm scarred with these childhood problems. My parents also don't accept the sexuality spectrum idea. How can I get past these issues?

Your mom’s opinions do make a huge impact on your life, but I can’t say whether or not there’s a direct link to this issue. You’re in a time and your life and place where you’re trying to figure out what you like and who and how you live your life and if you like anyone at all. Don’t be scared that just because you can’t give yourself a clear definition, you’ll never be able to or you’ll never know what gender you’re attracted to. Remember that it only takes one person, regardless of their gender, and your whole life can change. It’s a huge sucky situation that your parents don’t accept what you think your sexuality may be, but there are billions of people who do accept it. I know it’s your family, and you really count on their opinions, but you make your own family in life too. Friends, college classmates, the GSA, or even professors. Once you can accept yourself and you realize that lots of people accept you, even if you don’t know what you want (most of us don’t) then you’ll probably feel more comfortable bringing it up with your family. They might still be unaccepting and that will suck, but they might surprise you. The most important thing is you and how you feel and that you need to feel free to date and love whoever you want and take your time to figure that out. You’re 18, you have your whole entire life to figure out who you want to date or if you don’t want to date anyone at all.