That’s like saying there are no interracial couples. White people don’t exclusively date other white people, and the same for all races. You love who you love. You’re attracted to whoever your attracted to for their personality, not their skin color.
Everyone hates stuff about themselves. I hated my skin growing up because I had eczema on my arms, then I hated it because I was scarred. I even hated being super pale for a long time. I finally realized that I can’t change my skin color. I can tan, sure, but this is really it. It may sound stupid, but watching things with pale girls made me feel more secure when I was young. Rory and Lorelai were porcelain on Gilmore Girls, which I watched religiously, so I didn’t feel so bad about only going from pale to sunburned to pale.
Dark skinned girls are gorgeous. Empower yourself. There are so many beautiful, strong, important, hardworking dark-skinned women out there. Mrs. Obama is flawless. Alek Wek is one of my favorite models of all time. Despite all these gorgeous black women, your skin color doesn’t define you unless you let it. Not everyone out there looks at people as black or white and stereotypes them. Don’t define yourself by your skin color and don’t let anyone else. Define yourself through your hard work, volunteer work, your sense of humor, the way you’ll do anything to help a friend. That’s what makes you who you are and that’s your beauty right there.
Don’t go. If you’re not comfortable, don’t go. If you want to go, go and be safe. You won’t ‘kill’ your liver. It is made to process alcohol, unless you have some type of physical limitation. It’s scary and you don’t know what being drunk is like. Sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it sucks, sometimes you hurl, but you can always experiment safely. But if you aren’t comfortable, don’t push yourself. There’s no point in going if you aren’t going to have fun. As long as you don’t start partying every school night and hanging out with people who discourage good school work, your grades won’t automatically fall from adding alcohol to the equation. Be dedicated to your work and school and your family. Put that first. If you want to go to a party, try it, if you don’t, don’t push yourself to.
I hate when people do that. Even my exboyfriend used to make offhanded comments about my boobs being huge because I’m tiny and I always wanted to die. He’d insist that he didn’t mean it as an insult and I’m sure he didn’t, but it still sucked. She didn’t mean it as an insult either, but it still was a violation of privacy. For some reason, people think boobs are a pro-comment zone because big boobs are generally a positive thing. Would you say, hey your thighs are huge! No you wouldn’t. No one else should.
All that aside, who gives a shit. Ignore her. It’s your body and your boobs, not hers. Love them.
This happens a lot; all the time actually. Be proud of yourself for losing the weight (I am!) and celebrate yourself. You are living a healthy lifestyle. Don’t compare yourself to me or anyone at all! I don’t run all the time (my knee would hate me) and I only work out the way I do because I follow the Body For Life plan and I often times get dragged into events with my active family. If I could sit on my butt and watch Supernatural all day, I would. I do that often, actually. It’s much more important to be mentally healthy than to be thin. Ignore the scale. Healthy weight charts are always bullshit. Just move it (swimming is great!), eat what you love and things that are good for you and sometimes foods that are just good for your tastebuds, and cherish yourself.
Make a list of things you love about yourself that have nothing to do with your weight or outward appearance - your kindness, personality, ability to balance your life well. Do things that are fun, like swimming, and don’t think of it as a workout. Don’t panic about gaining weight back. You’ll probably fluctuate a little like we all do, but as long as you’re active and you’re not eating all junk food all the time, you won’t put it all back on. And even if you put some back on, so what? Are you living a life you like, full of fun and good friends and great food? Then that’s perfect. That is a perfect life, my dear.
My grandfather just passed away, which is terrible in itself, but a really interesting study in family interaction. Basically, my family is crazy and we’re trying to make sure they don’t kill each other over the color of the casket.
Luckily, my favorite uncle stood up when my grandmother said I eat too much and made me flex, then spent the next half hour discussing how I could beat up all his coworkers on the trash trucks.
Start slow. You don’t immediately have to bring the topic up on yourself, you can just bring up the topic in general. Explain that you can understand why people would hurt themselves, and you get that kind of coping mechanism. If you start feeling more comfortable, move on slowly from there. For all you know, other friends might be doing the same things.
Self harm is a form of release for emotional issues, but it doesn’t fix the problem, it simply glosses it over. Find out what the real problem is, then cope with it. If it’s school or work or home, talk it out with someone. Draw, write, dance, scream, sing, watch your favorite TV show or movie, and ultimately, face the problem and work through it.
It doesn’t matter how old you are. People go through this until they die. Like, literally, until they die they do not know exactly who they are. 23 is still young, by the way, and an entirely rational time of life to be having these crises. It doesn’t matter how old you are, it matters that you cope with it. Luckily, you’re older now and can handle it more rationally than you probably would have in high school.
(cont) be my friend for so many months. he’s now always commenting on posts on my fb and shit and i’m still so bitter lol. my one idiot best friend keeps tagging him all over the place even though she knows why i hate him -_- on top of that he told one of our friends the beginning of this year that i was “looking really good this year”. ..when his comments are what prompted me to lose 40 pounds and he doesn’t even know it. how do i get over it? if he’s gonna keep popping up i want to confron. him so ad but don’t know how?? i don’t want to come off crazy or that i ever even like-liked him, because that’s not it at all. he just so happened to be the last guy that called me fat which prompted me to lose weight, and to this day seeing his name reminds me of all of my insecurities. i feel like if i don’t confront him i’m gonna explode all over him the next time he says as much as 2 words to me :(
Some jackass who makes fun of you doesn’t deserve two seconds of your time. If you legitimately think yelling at him will help, go ahead, but it won’t change anything. You’re mad because you’re insecure and you have to deal with that personally. Ignore him all you want, chose not to hang with him, explain to your friends why, but it’s not him right now, it’s your problem that you need to tackle.
It can be because all, some, or none of those things. It can have to do with age, stress, and hormonal changes. It can be pretty much anything. Go see your gyno or even your primary care doctor. Going on the pill can help that a lot. If you don’t want to, you can talk about other options.
The important part is to be true to you. When you do that, you are saying fuck you to society. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you, if they think you’re fat or skinny or stubborn or giving in. You’re not giving in if you’re doing it because you want to, not because society tells you to. And if someone says something about it, you tell them that. It doesn’t matter if anyone does say something though, as long as you are secure in your reasons.
Moms sometimes forget the huge amount of power they have over their kids. If they even critique themselves in the mirror when their kids are growing up, it makes massively insecure children. You need to let her know she really hurt your feelings, and you take the things she says seriously. Don’t yell or throw a fit, just sit down and talk with her when you both have free time.
You can’t stop from hurting. All you can do is wait it out and remind yourself that you’re seventeen, you have decades full of men and women and life ahead of you.
Well if someone murdered anyone, I would hope you would call the cops ASAP so you don’t get stuck in a Jawbreaker situation and/or ax murdered to death. I’m pretty sure it’s like, civic duty to turn in people who kill people.
One, I’m really proud of you and you should be too! That’s awesome. The key statement there is making healthy choices. Don’t focus on losing weight, don’t focus on getting smaller clothes, don’t do the ‘when I’m thin’ thing. Get healthy. Don’t count calories. Replace white bread with whole wheat, diet soda with water and eat lots of lean protein and complex carbs. Even though I’ve never had an eating disorder, I’ve always thought less food will make me thinner too, especially less carbs. I stopped doing Jamie Eason’s livefit because I hated low carb so much, and started doing Body For Life. It’s a 40% protein 40% carbs, 20% fat to make up your daily diet. You don’t count calories. I was terrified but I’ve made huge gains. I feel happier. I’m not exhausted even though the workouts are intense. In four weeks I’ve gained tons of muscle and lost tons of fat and the scale hasn’t moved at all. Don’t believe the scale. It lies to you. It’s effected by water weight, what you ate that day, what food is still in your belly etc etc. No one can see the number on the scale or in your pants. Do it to feel healthy and happy and strong. Never ever workout or change your eating plan to look thinner. Who cares about that? Following a free workout and eating plan will probably work well for you, like Body for Life or one of the many on bodybuilding.com.
Seriously though, that’s awesome. I’m proud of you and you should be too!
- Stop comparing yourself to other people
- Find something you love and do it every day
- Look in the mirror every day and tell that hotass staring back at you, ‘damn you look good.’