self esteem boosters: Archive

Okay, so there's this guy I like..I don't know if he still likes me, around January/February he told me he did though..Just back then I never really had feelings for him, he was always hitting on me and trying to flirt. I just kind of blew him off.. Then on Valentine's Day he got moved up a grade in school so I very rarely see him. But, on Valentines Day he asked me how my day was all I said was "Okay, I guess. No one got me anything but it's not like I was expecting anything." well, after that he told me he was going to get me something. He wouldn't tell me what it was, but the next day after school he walked from the other side of the school to give me it. I had told him not to get me anything but he had said "I don't care what you say, I want you to be Valentine. I'm getting you something." And since that day I realized how sweet he really is and developed a crush on him since... Now it just seems like he really doesn't even think of me anymore. Whenever I see him after school I always give him hugs and he waves to me from outside the windows of my classes. I haven't actually had a conversation with him in like a month... I'm probably just rambling now, sorry. My real question is, how do you tell a guy that used to like you that you like him? Or, how do you get over a guy that doesn't seem to like you anymore? Would you say he still likes me? Should I ask him? Thanks for all your help. Btw; I love your blog. I can relate to so much and it's really helped me through a lot. So glad I followed.

I’ve said this often, but sometimes you should have taken the chance when you had it. Don’t waste that chance again, talk to him about it now. Don’t wait around for him to tell you, he’s being pretty obvious about it.

Just thank him for the valentine and tell him you’d like to always be his valentine (maybe not just like that, that was a little cheesy, but you get my point).

May 31, 20110 notes

#relationships #advice

Basically...to say that I have a guy issue is an understatement. I met him when I was about 15 and I joined a new school, and he was the first guy I've ever really clicked with. I was bullied prior to that and had no self esteem and I loved hanging out with him and he was amazing. Things turned pretty nasty with various mutual friends and I ended up sticking around with some people who had been fairly mean to him, because I found out his friends were posting some pretty horrendous abuse about me on the internet. I never told him this, and I think he just assumed I was a bitch, and we stopped speaking. I was heartbroken. So fast forward to just after I turned 17 (so two years ago) and he's switched schools, and I haven't seen him in over a year. I sent him a message asking if he's send me the download link to an album I knew he had, and we ended up getting talking again and all the feelings came back. For about six months we talked basically every day online, and I hung out with him a couple of times in the summer. One of these times, I decided to tell him how I felt (I should probably mention I was fairly confident he felt the same way, both this time and before we fell out back then.) But then, he basically said he didn't want us to ruin our friendship, because he wasn't friends with anyone he'd dated before. I was heartbroken, but I said OK. The next day he just stopped responding to my messages, so our friendship was effectively ruined anyway. This was about the time I slipped into depression and self-esteem and anxiety issues that I'm getting help for now, but I'm quite ashamed to admit that I lost my head a little bit. I sent him a stream of pleading emails, asking why he'd stopped talking to me, and occasionally losing my temper and being a bit of a bitch. At one point I even wrote him a heartfelt letter and actually mailed it to his house. We're speaking again, sort of, to the extent where if I bumped into him I wouldn't just want the world to swallow me up again. The problem is now he's at college in the same town as me and every time I see him it all comes flooding back. I've had various crushes in the interim periods but nobody's had quite the same effect on me that he does. All I want to do is hang out with him and prove to him I'm something more than what I've shown him when I've been losing my mind, but I don't know how he feels. I get the feeling when we started talking again the second time any feelings he had were just as quick to come back to him as they were to me, but I'm scared to start up conversations with him in case he just thinks I'm a pathetic little girl with an obsession, which admittedly is the impression I've given him. I wrote him a big email recently basically pouring my heart out, telling him about my mental illness and admitting that I quite often wish we could at least attempt to rekindle something and a couple of days later he signed in and apologised for not replying earlier, but didn't go any further than that. He didn't say "not in a million years", but then he didn't agree wholeheartedly with me either. Basically, I want to spend more time with the guy, but in the past I've behaved pretty appallingly, although admittedly I wasn't feeling entirely myself and he's not blameless, either. What would you suggest? (Sorry this was so long :|)

You’re putting all your self esteem and confidence onto this one guy. If you do that, your feelings about yourself will yo-yo with however he’s acting that day. You need to raise your own self esteem. Tell yourself you’re beautiful and worth it, never wait for someone else’s validation.

May 31, 20110 notes

#relationships #advice

Sorry, it was about being played.

I believe that’s been answered and queued. But I get a lot of questions about being played, because relationships are hard :/ Pretty sure it’s queued up though!

May 31, 20110 notes

My boyfriend has been really, uh stupid?, shady and suspisous lately. I'm not sure if it's my paranoia talking or if he is possibly cheating. But saturday he texted me and was like, "i need some boundaries." and, i told him what they were (no sex, no kiss, no touch, no hoey flirting), then he was like, " what if i take a girl to a social event..?" I didn't go to school today, and my pretty much bestfriend was like, "Isaac was flirting with Rita today." He's been kind of flirting with her before that, that I know of, and she flirts with him. I feel like he likes her and she him. Iduno if I should confront him about this or just see what happens between them. Maybe, nothing is actually happening and I just don't trust him enough so I'm thinking of the worst things that could be happening. Or, maybe something is happening. Iduno. Advice?

Unfortunately, usually when we think they’re cheating, they are. Even if they aren’t, there’s some reason we don’t trust them and that’s not good. Talk to him about it. If you don’t trust him, there’s a reason.

May 31, 20112 notes

#relationships #advice

I just wanted to know if you got my ask. I'm a mess. Everything blew up. I know you have a system for the answers.

I do have a system. It’s in my faq. I get about 30 asks a day so I get to them within 2 days, then they get queued. You didn’t reference what your ask was so I’m not sure if I got it.

May 31, 20110 notes

RE: Acne. I recently got prescribed some acne medicine and it's helped, but I do want to warn those using Minocyline that there are some serious side effects. I found out reading a friend of a friend's experience with nearly going blind due to the stuff. Not saying don't use it, hell I still am, just be aware! My doctor never told me about it when he prescribed it, so do your research!

Definitely do your research! That’s such a good point. Doctors don’t always give you a side effect list but you can find most of it online.

May 31, 20111 note

so i like this guy, well i think i like him, im not sure:P he's so nice, good looking, funny, smart and everything i want! we were 'seeing' (like going out in secret) last summer, and it was great for a couple weeks then it wasnt. but the thing is, he hurt me quite bad, like not physically, but i havent been able to like a guy like that since, and it really annoys me, but i can feel me starting to like him again and i really really dont want to incase the same thing happens, we dont even talk anymore so im almost definate he doesnt like me back before you say just talk to him or give it a go or whatever, but yeah, do i actually like him or is it because i havent been able to like anyone since? im really confused:L thanks xx

It could be either, I can’t tell you that, only you can. If you know you’ll get hurt again then don’t do it. It’s easy to go for a relationship because we don’t want to be alone anymore, but that isn’t a good reason. You should only be with someone who treats you right. Learn how to be happy alone or you’ll never be happy with someone else.

May 31, 2011-1 notes

#relationships #advice

I noticed a submission about acne, and I gotta say that the best thing you can do for that is to go see a doctor. Yes, there are doctors for acne or any skin problems: Dermatologists. I used to get acne really bad, and I have eczema too, and I went to my dermatologist about it. He put me on a pill called Tetracycline. I had to take it 3 times a day and it would clear right up. It's been a while since then, and I have less problems with acne now, so I only need to take it once a day; twice if I'm stressed. It also helps that I do not wear makeup at all. I notice that when I do wear makeup, I'm more likely to break out. So I avoid wearing makeup, stressing out, and I take my medicine like I'm told, and I have a clear face. Once you have a clear face you don't really need makeup anyway. At least, that's what I think. PS: It also helps A LOT to not touch your face. At school I used to lean on my hands and stuff, and I would notice that my face would only break out around my jawline, where I was touching my face. No matter how clean your hands are, they always have oil on them, and if you put them on your face, the oil gets on your face and clogs your pores, causing pimples.

Thanks, love!

Don’t let anyone else touch your face either, like this:

I’m kidding. But really, keep your hands in your pockets, don’t rest your cheek on your palm even when you’re sleeping in class.

May 31, 20111 note

May 31, 201176 notes

#love yourself #self esteem #image

i get shit on a daily basis for having acne/pimples all over my face. it used to be really bad, but its cleared up a bit. the bullying used to be really bad, now its just gotten worse. i wash my face every morning and every night with oxy face wash, and use a prescription topical solution but so far nothing is helping. i've tried all the "home remedies" i've seen on the internet but nothing is helping. my self esteem is being torn down daily by people calling me pizza face, telling me they want to play connect the dots on my face, etc. i hate it and i just want this shit gone. do you have any advice?

Don’t ever ever ever let some assholes define you. Once you let them inside and believe what they’re saying, then they win. I can promise it will get better, so stick it out.

As for acne, I always do a full regimen, wash, toner, moisturizer, spot treatment. If that’s not working, go see your derm and ask for some advice. Make sure you wash your pillow case weekly, clean your phone daily (not just wiping it on your jeans!) and avoid touching your face with dirty hands. Carry cleanser wipes around with you to keep your face free of oil.

May 31, 20112 notes

you are an amazing person! love your blog ! <3

May 31, 20113 notes

oncebelowforever replied to your post: I LOVE PAPER TOWNS
OMG I FOLLOW NERDFIGHTERS? this is awesome
oncebelowforever liked your post: I LOVE PAPER TOWNS

May 31, 20115 notes

I LOVE PAPER TOWNS

May 31, 20119 notes

This is weird but..how do people get along with guys, like be friends with them? People say it's easy, sometimes better than girls but they kind of scare me and creep me out at the same time. I don't know what's wrong with me. The only males I really ever see are my brothers. I guess I was raised kind of sheltered as a kid and bit beyond too so maybe that has something to do with it? I don't know.. I just can't talk to them without panicking a little even if it's just paying for something at a store where I'll never see them again, I always go to the checkout where there's a girl working if I can. I don't know why I do this. Is there something wrong with me? :\

I’m friends with lots of guys, but no one says you have to be friends with guys. Some girls like to be friends with girls and that’s fine. Just remember that boys are people too. They’re sensitive, nervous, scared, and just want to be loved, too.

May 31, 20112 notes

#friendship #advice

Really dumb question, but how is "gif" pronounced? With a "g" sound or a "j" sound?

I say gif with a g. But as John Green would say, it’s your word so you can say it however you want (I say Ahgloe, some say A-glow). If you haven’t read Paper Towns you’re like, wtf?

May 31, 20115 notes

how do you answer a question with a gif? sorry im a noob.

When you go to reply you lick that lovely little button with a tree (why is it a tree? wtf?) and then you put the link of the gif in (like from tinypic or wherever you’re taking it from).

May 31, 20111 note

you give amazing advice. :) thank you. <3

May 31, 20111 note

You live in the Boston area! I'll be living there next year (at Mass Art)! Did you go to school in the area?

Wow, MassArt. You kick so much ass! I went to BSU. You will love it so much. I mean it’s crazy to be in the city, but it’s small compared to like…New York, so it’s also still really fun. It’s such a college city, it’s fantastic.

May 31, 2011-1 notes

you didnt answer my post! and i really need help

faq please guys!

May 31, 2011-1 notes

Hey Liz, sorry it took me so long to respond, but just wanted to say thanks for the reply and advice. I really appreciate it. As of right now, Im keeping my distance. Havn't communicated with him since. Again, thanks for your help always. I hope you don't mind if I bug you with more questions in the near future. Congrates on graduation and I hope you are having a great summer.

Feel free to come for more questions! That’s what I’m here for. I hope it’s working out for you, honey, you are so capable on your own.

And thanks! It’s super exciting to be graduated but also really weird. Luckily I have all you guys here for me because you’re awesome.

May 31, 20110 notes