October 2011
Did you hear about the guy who got cut in half?
Yeah, he’s all right now.
Tell more jokes!
Amm.. I get shy even when I talk with my BFF. Although I know that you should accept yourself, in order to others accept you, I have a bad image of myself in my head, so I keep things locked inside me. And I don't know if I'm capable of losing any more people around me, but I won't let them 'in'. I don't know.. Help?
You need to realize that real friends won’t mind if you have some hard stuff to deal with in your head, and you won’t make real bonds with people until you let them in. You’re not ugly inside or outside. You need to work through the bad image of yourself, and part of that is involving yourself in the world and sharing that with friends or family who you trust.
It always bums me out that people on The Biggest Loser want boyfriends and that no one pays attention to them at their size. Everyone is beautiful and society should make that known.
submission by tiredofbeingtoofat: still on the journey
I’m a little nervous about submitting, but I guess I’m doing the best I can! I seem to waver between lots of self confidence and feeling awful about myself, but I admit, feeling awful about myself has been the usual for me.
I have been slightly overweight my whole life, even when I was playing three sports and really in shape. I still had fat on me. I’m a naturally curvaceous person I guess— and I also love food. Kids called me fat or “lard ass” in school, and my sister and my dad used to laugh about how fat I was. If my dad caught me eating as a little kid, I would get in trouble. Things weren’t great when I was a kid, but I still managed to be happy.
As I got older, due to family issues and other stuff, I got really depressed. I started cutting in high school. When I got to college, things got really really bad. I was dating a guy who treated me super crappy but I admit I didn’t have the self esteem to get out of the relationship. We were dating for four years and he would talk about my weight, how he wanted me to dress sexier, and all this stupid crap.
I finally dumped him but only after he told me he wanted to have an “open relationship” because he said I was getting too fat and he had to think about other girls and watch porn because he wasn’t as attracted to me anymore. I got super depressed because I just realized how bad my self esteem was that I couldn’t even respect myself to date a man who treated me right, in addition to the fact that my parents seemed to think I was a total failure, even though I went to a top school in the USA and was doing pretty well. Around this time I met my current boyfriend, and he did really help with repairing my self esteem. He taught me not to accept bad treatment from anyone and that I shouldn’t just “let things go” so I didn’t create “drama.” He said I should demand respect from people I interacted with daily.
I didn’t always do that, though. End of college, I fell into a group of friends that seemed really awesome at first, but as time went on, things just got more and more negative. My best friend from high school also started hanging out with us, even though she didn’t go to our school, and she completely turned on me. I gained about 40 pounds my senior year of college because of a medication I had to be on because of a serious illness, and she took the opportunity to constantly try to compete with me in terms of looks and body, and finally, she outright called me fat once at a friend’s graduation party. I didn’t make a big deal of it at the time but it really got to me since she used to be my best friend.
Her behavior continued for almost a year… She would do things like comment on a picture of me in a bikini (where I actually looked thin for once!) and said “This looks photoshopped” and then claimed it was a “joke.” Her life mission seemed to be to make me feel bad while boosting herself up. I confronted her once, but she flipped out at me and went behind my back and told all of my college friends that I had said horrible things to her, when actually it was the opposite!
Finally, sometime in the past few months, I decided that, if my so called college friends were going to take her side even though I had repeated evidence that she was being horrible to me, I didn’t care if they were my friends anymore. I also blocked this girl’s phone number and gchat so she would stop calling, texting, and IMing me. I’m now in graduate school doing what I love and I have new friends who never treat me with anything but respect.
But hell, I am a special, important person. I might have parts of my body that I don’t like, and sure, I want to be able to run faster and fit into a smaller dress size, but I’m still a beautiful person, and I will never let anyone tell me otherwise.
How much green tea (or any tea for that matter) do you need to drink daily to get the benefits?
I don’t drink green tea because it makes me go blehhhh. Google says 3-5 though. Anyone else who is an expert green tea drinker?
If someone around your age didn't have a facebook would you think anything of it? I'm a college junior and i've only got 20 "friends" on there and only one I rarely talk to because I'm really shy and I think I should just delete it so people don't know I have no friends, but I feel like I'd just be isolating myself even more
It’s totally your choice to have facebook or not. You don’t have to use a social networking site. I have some friends you never ever go on. Ever. Don’t delete it because you think 20 friends is dumb, but don’t keep it if you don’t feel like using it.
I'm both a shy and outgoing person. It depends on the environment I'm in. I was walking down the hallway after class with one of my friends and this cute guy came up real close and said "hello beautiful" I said hi but we both continued on our ways. Should I have done something? Or was he just being friendly?
Beautiful is certainly special, but it’s always up to you. We all don’t do things and then kick ourselves for it later. You go to school together, you’ll get another chance to say ‘hey, gorgeous.’
Last year during the winter, I went through this phase where I would not eat breakfast (like usual), but the whole day if I even thought about food I would feel sick. I tried eating lunch everyday, but it got to the point where I felt worse and I just didn't eat until supper. I don't really know why it happened, so I was thinking you might have a reason. I've never been a breakfast person. Thanks for reading. :)
I have a friend who gets sick every time she eats. She went to the doctor and found out she had IBS. They’re working with her now, so she’s improving and getting more comfortable in her life. Go check in with your primary!
I love The Biggest Loser but hearing someone say, ‘someone who wants to be in love shouldn’t have this weight,’ makes me want to cry. You can be fat and in love, skinny and in love, short, tall, freckled, dark skin, light skin, goofy, shy, outgoing, scarred, with a dark past or with a nuclear family and be in love.
Anyone can be in love as long as they’ll open themselves to it. The key is learning to love yourself and accept that you have flaws - that you dance horrendously, you’re perpetually late, or sometimes you feel insecure. Change what you need to change, accept what needs to be accepted, stop being scared and just live your life with open arms.
I am a 16-year-old girl. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and I'm pretty positive I love him. He's ready to have sex, and I'm not. I'm constantly horny and thinking about sex, but when I'm with him I feel very uncomfortable with doing anything sexual. I don't even like making out with him. Is this weird? Fortunately he's willing to wait until I'm ready, but sometimes I feel like he's impatient, especially since his best friend just lost his virginity to his girlfriend of 2 years.
It doesn’t matter what his friends did, your friends did, people on tv did. No. The only important thing is what you said ‘I don’t feel comfortable.’ That is not weird. Stand by your feelings and morals. If he won’t wait, he isn’t worth it.
so I've read on the internet that douching was not good. My boyfriend keeps telling me to douche but I don't want to (because of what I've read). Is there a way that I can keep it smelling fresh and clean down there without having to douche? Thanks so much!
It’s not good! You should just be keeping clean with regular showers and washes. If your boyfriend thinks you smell, he’s a jerk. You’re a human and humans have smells. You’re supposed to have a scent, there’s nothing wrong with it! Not to mention that boys don’t always smell lovely..
Two fish are in a tank
One turns to the other and says, ‘do you know how to drive this thing?!’
Things you didn’t know about me: I tell jokes appropriate for 5th grades all day long because I like to brighten people’s day.
- me: why are you rolling that orange on the counter?
- b: it loosens the skin so it's easier to peel
- me: do you think that works on people?
- b: it probably just mushes their insides
I look like a hunchback & rounded shoulders even when I've got my shoulders back as far as I can and standing or sitting up straight. I'm guessing it's from years of hunching over books & the computer. Is there any way to fix this? :\
Yes, it can definitely be from a computer! My chiropractor recently reamed me out for what I do to my spine from working at a computer. Go see a chiro. They’re usually covered by insurance and he could put you back into alignment and give you tips to prevent future damage.
not gonna answer my porn question? :/
FAQ please! I literally just got that and it takes me days to get through messages
To the anon with the age difference, my parents are 12 years apart. They aren't turning out too well and I think part of it is because my dad basically raised my mom. She was 15, he was 27. The age difference is really only a problem when you're a lot younger. Like how old my mom was. There's nothing with being 23 and dating an older guy. You're a mature adult, you can make decisions for yourself. Your family will just have to deal. And older guys are great anyway.
hi, i'm 14, 5'1 and 151 lbs. i feel so ugly.. i used to be 125 when i was 12...i want to change how i look fast. I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed, or even hold a hand of the opposite sex. . i really feel pathetic. all my other friends are so much skinnier than me and they always say that i'm not fat or whatever, but i think theyre lying. cause what person will really go up to you and say, " youre fat." ? especially a friend. please help me gain some lose weight so i can be more confident
There are girls in their 20s here who have never been kissed. Don’t rush your life so much. There is nothing wrong with being young while you’re young and loving it. You’re not fat and when you were 12, you had a kid’s body which is going to weigh practically nothing. As you get older, you get curves and gain weight because you’re getting a woman’s body. Your weight has nothing at all to do with getting a boyfriend. If a guy will only date you because of your weight, he’s an asshole and doesn’t deserve you.
