Yeah, he’s all right now.
You need to realize that real friends won’t mind if you have some hard stuff to deal with in your head, and you won’t make real bonds with people until you let them in. You’re not ugly inside or outside. You need to work through the bad image of yourself, and part of that is involving yourself in the world and sharing that with friends or family who you trust.
I’m a little nervous about submitting, but I guess I’m doing the best I can! I seem to waver between lots of self confidence and feeling awful about myself, but I admit, feeling awful about myself has been the usual for me.
I have been slightly overweight my whole life, even when I was playing three sports and really in shape. I still had fat on me. I’m a naturally curvaceous person I guess— and I also love food. Kids called me fat or “lard ass” in school, and my sister and my dad used to laugh about how fat I was. If my dad caught me eating as a little kid, I would get in trouble. Things weren’t great when I was a kid, but I still managed to be happy.
As I got older, due to family issues and other stuff, I got really depressed. I started cutting in high school. When I got to college, things got really really bad. I was dating a guy who treated me super crappy but I admit I didn’t have the self esteem to get out of the relationship. We were dating for four years and he would talk about my weight, how he wanted me to dress sexier, and all this stupid crap.
I finally dumped him but only after he told me he wanted to have an “open relationship” because he said I was getting too fat and he had to think about other girls and watch porn because he wasn’t as attracted to me anymore. I got super depressed because I just realized how bad my self esteem was that I couldn’t even respect myself to date a man who treated me right, in addition to the fact that my parents seemed to think I was a total failure, even though I went to a top school in the USA and was doing pretty well. Around this time I met my current boyfriend, and he did really help with repairing my self esteem. He taught me not to accept bad treatment from anyone and that I shouldn’t just “let things go” so I didn’t create “drama.” He said I should demand respect from people I interacted with daily.
I didn’t always do that, though. End of college, I fell into a group of friends that seemed really awesome at first, but as time went on, things just got more and more negative. My best friend from high school also started hanging out with us, even though she didn’t go to our school, and she completely turned on me. I gained about 40 pounds my senior year of college because of a medication I had to be on because of a serious illness, and she took the opportunity to constantly try to compete with me in terms of looks and body, and finally, she outright called me fat once at a friend’s graduation party. I didn’t make a big deal of it at the time but it really got to me since she used to be my best friend.
Her behavior continued for almost a year… She would do things like comment on a picture of me in a bikini (where I actually looked thin for once!) and said “This looks photoshopped” and then claimed it was a “joke.” Her life mission seemed to be to make me feel bad while boosting herself up. I confronted her once, but she flipped out at me and went behind my back and told all of my college friends that I had said horrible things to her, when actually it was the opposite!
Finally, sometime in the past few months, I decided that, if my so called college friends were going to take her side even though I had repeated evidence that she was being horrible to me, I didn’t care if they were my friends anymore. I also blocked this girl’s phone number and gchat so she would stop calling, texting, and IMing me. I’m now in graduate school doing what I love and I have new friends who never treat me with anything but respect.
But hell, I am a special, important person. I might have parts of my body that I don’t like, and sure, I want to be able to run faster and fit into a smaller dress size, but I’m still a beautiful person, and I will never let anyone tell me otherwise.
I don’t drink green tea because it makes me go blehhhh. Google says 3-5 though. Anyone else who is an expert green tea drinker?
It’s totally your choice to have facebook or not. You don’t have to use a social networking site. I have some friends you never ever go on. Ever. Don’t delete it because you think 20 friends is dumb, but don’t keep it if you don’t feel like using it.
Beautiful is certainly special, but it’s always up to you. We all don’t do things and then kick ourselves for it later. You go to school together, you’ll get another chance to say ‘hey, gorgeous.’
I have a friend who gets sick every time she eats. She went to the doctor and found out she had IBS. They’re working with her now, so she’s improving and getting more comfortable in her life. Go check in with your primary!
I love The Biggest Loser but hearing someone say, ‘someone who wants to be in love shouldn’t have this weight,’ makes me want to cry. You can be fat and in love, skinny and in love, short, tall, freckled, dark skin, light skin, goofy, shy, outgoing, scarred, with a dark past or with a nuclear family and be in love.
Anyone can be in love as long as they’ll open themselves to it. The key is learning to love yourself and accept that you have flaws - that you dance horrendously, you’re perpetually late, or sometimes you feel insecure. Change what you need to change, accept what needs to be accepted, stop being scared and just live your life with open arms.
It doesn’t matter what his friends did, your friends did, people on tv did. No. The only important thing is what you said ‘I don’t feel comfortable.’ That is not weird. Stand by your feelings and morals. If he won’t wait, he isn’t worth it.
It’s not good! You should just be keeping clean with regular showers and washes. If your boyfriend thinks you smell, he’s a jerk. You’re a human and humans have smells. You’re supposed to have a scent, there’s nothing wrong with it! Not to mention that boys don’t always smell lovely..
One turns to the other and says, ‘do you know how to drive this thing?!’
Things you didn’t know about me: I tell jokes appropriate for 5th grades all day long because I like to brighten people’s day.
- me: why are you rolling that orange on the counter?
- b: it loosens the skin so it's easier to peel
- me: do you think that works on people?
- b: it probably just mushes their insides
Yes, it can definitely be from a computer! My chiropractor recently reamed me out for what I do to my spine from working at a computer. Go see a chiro. They’re usually covered by insurance and he could put you back into alignment and give you tips to prevent future damage.
FAQ please! I literally just got that and it takes me days to get through messages
There are girls in their 20s here who have never been kissed. Don’t rush your life so much. There is nothing wrong with being young while you’re young and loving it. You’re not fat and when you were 12, you had a kid’s body which is going to weigh practically nothing. As you get older, you get curves and gain weight because you’re getting a woman’s body. Your weight has nothing at all to do with getting a boyfriend. If a guy will only date you because of your weight, he’s an asshole and doesn’t deserve you.